Good Monday to ya!!! This is my first blog so please be easy on me. I created this blog to be the melting pot for various topics. We'll talk sports, fitness, finance, and relationships. I promise to keep it Juicy! I'm probably the most well rounded, versatile and life experienced 29 year old u know. I've lived in MD, NY, TN, VA, and NC. I've been married, now divorced. I've seen and experienced things that some people don't get in a lifetime. This blog is gonna be a peek into the life and mind of RICH.
My first topic is gonna be dating in your 30's... I'm recently getting out of a marriage and I want to touch on the trials and tribulations of dating in your 30's. The biggest problem with dating in your 30's is the pressure you feel to actually have a "goal" by entering a relationship. The clock is ticking and with no kids and a budding career I'm looking for the "one". Casual dating goes completely out the door and every move you make you are constantly watching the clock. The problem with this is it can cause you to be drastic in and even more drastic out. You want to get married, have kids, and be a family, so every women you come in contact with your trying to pull those positive qualities out which drowns out the negative. At first glance she's cute but the more you spend time you start to see that this aint what you want. With time, the truth will come out. How do you decipher the genuine from the fake without wasting valuable time. In 2010 there are so many more issues that have to be considered and this new "independent" woman that has evolved often lacks the qualities that men usually desire. It's great to have a woman that attractive, works, and has her own money, but am I supposed to disregard the domestic qualities that my mother and grandmother displayed in an excellent model for a woman/wife.
The next major issue is the later you wait to find your mate the probability of dating a woman with kids increases exponentially. I've come to accept single mothers in my pool of potential lifemates but now we have a whole new piece of business to address. Increased responsibility, immediate fatherhood, limits on time, and of course... BABY DADDIES!!!! This is not only a stress on the man but the woman that wants more than anything to have a convetional household has to juggle her child, her man, and still deal with her ex-man. This can be a definite strain on a relationship. If there are any differences of perspectives on raising the child you have a whole new argument.
Enough of the negatives. The positive is that by your 30's you should know what you want but you have to be able to decipher early and keep it moving. Roles are changing in relationships and a women that adds to the household financially deserves to have a meal prepared for her every once in a while too. This "new" women should even the tables and keep everyone equal. If you date a single mom you have one of the strongest women on earth. She has to do everything a woman without kids does, and raises a child, giving you time, while keeping the peace with her ex. Not to mention you can peak at her mommy skills and see if this is the woman you would want to raise your child.
To sum it up its hard but possible. Keep the faith and follow God and he will lead you to your mate... or have you by yourself. Whatever the plan is it's his anyway so follow his plan and you can't loose.
Live Life Rich!!!!
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I never read blogs, but to hear that you are writing intrigued me to read it. I can relate to everything you said in this blog. The main thing you have to focus on is not settling just so that you can attempt to live the "Cosby Show" marriage. I have done that in the past and realized that was not going to work. A woman or a man that has her own is one to applaud. Speaking from experience, I am in a relationship and have a kid. Sometimes it is a challenge, but it is the woman's responsibility in the relationship to get her ex and the new man in check to realize that the child comes first. I am a strong believer in kids and also a big believer in adult time. So it is a learning experience to learn how to balance it all out. I look forward to seeing your next blog.
ReplyDeleteShannon
Man Rich, I saw that you started to write a blog and honestly I didn't know what to expect. When I started reading I expected you to talk about sports or something like that. Now, this topic of dating in your 30's is something that I can relate to..or almost relate to...cause I'm about to turn 30. You have some real good insight on the whole scene. Its hard out here for a good dude who just wants to find Ms. Right. I'm tired of the dating around thing and want to find that ONE....but I can't seem to track her ass down anywhere...I was told not to look for her...but if I don't look for her...she's gonna walk right past me...I don't want to find a woman who has a kid because of those situations that you mentioned...especially her having to deal with her ex dude....well done Rich!! I'mma check in from time to time....see what you got going on in here!...
ReplyDeleteHU's Finest!
I appreciate the feedback. I have a lot of insight on a lot of situations because of my experience. Shannon I'm glad you agreeThe thing is Biblically you're supposed to put your husband first once you get married and single moms sometimes fail to get that point. It says you should put your husband above all things after God. 1 Peter clearly states that women should submit to their husbands and allow him to be the head of the household. If you honor your husband and are with a man of God/virtue he will lead and provide for you and you're children setting a good example of what a household should look like.
ReplyDelete@Madisonave10029 Don't overlook a woman just because she has a child. Sometimes it completes a woman to put someone before themself. The baby daddy drama is something to consider but it's a case by case basis. Sometimes the guy isn't involved or has genuinely moved on and not a dickhead. The ideal situation is a guy that has his child's best interest at heart and knows that the kid is fine. You can usually decipher pretty quick when there's drama.
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